Where to begin?
Really, where to begin?
***
I apologize for the absence lately as I haven't really felt like myself in the last 2 months, that and the added fun of having my top of the line Sony Vaio die a horrible and quick death whilst filing my taxes was not fun.
Have no fear though for I am back up and online now at home with a lovely laptop that is less than a week old for the interim until I can fully afford the oh so desired 17" 8GB MacBook Pro. (insert Homer Simpson drool here)
As you may know I was in Toronto again the first weekend of May visiting the mans (more to come in this post). It was a lovely weekend away and we had some pretty intense conversations about us and made some conclusions. We do love each other but the distance is the hardest thing for us. We both are wanting the same thing and with me locked in here in Stratford until February I can not be there for him as often as I am truly wanting to be which sucks. We had discussed while I was there that maybe we should just be very good friends and see where things go when my job starts to slow down a bit in the fall and we can get together more regularly on weekends etc.
Now that being said we have always stated to each other that if someone else comes along that is closer and more available that a connection is created with that we would support each other no matter what in that endeavor. We still are holing each other to that.
After that weekend in Toronto he had confessed to me that he had a date with someone and that there was a bit of a connection. For the following two weeks things went well for him and we made the final conclusion to just stay good friends so he can really see where this potential budding relationship/friendship will go.
We had planned on getting together this past weekend anyways when we were still together and we kept on that. Last Thursday though I was given a real shock to my system. Yes hearing him tell me that things are going well and so quickly was shocking me too but having him tell me that they are now fully monogamously dating was a real blow to me.
Was it a strained weekend? To a degree. I wanted to hear more about this guy and did find out some more but J.J. held back thankfully on telling me everything until I am completely comfortable with it.
He never wanted to hurt me intentionally and hasn't. I thank him for that. I wish him and the new guy luck.
He also knows that he still has a special place in my heart and and is always welcome to come and visit and get away for the weekend. I know I have a place still in his heart as well and am welcome when it is possible to visit him it will just be more difficult for me to visit him due to the fact the new guy in his life is basically around the corner in his neighbourhood. We will work it out though as I am wanting to go do some more shopping in September in Toronto and by then he will be done is crazy summer events and I will be less crazy with work as well and will have had more time absorbing things.
And yes who knows what will happen. The new relationship might not last, and it might. Only time will tell.
So once again I am single, still over worked, relatively underpaid, and behind in design work and knitting projects ( I have 5 pairs of socks on the needles that haven't been touched in ages, and the hemlock hasn't been touched in almost a month now).
Again I apologize for the absence but need some real me time, and unfortunately there is very little of that for me to grab right now.
I will see you all soon enough, until then be well my lovelies.
-D
